The Damn Newsletter: Giving More than You Get...

Greetings and Salutations,

This has been a long time coming...I know you have been waiting for months for this...Now after all the baited breaths, all the comments, all the tweets...It's FINALLY HERE...The return of

SCANDAL 

Oops...

I mean the Damn Newsletter!!!!


All joking aside, it feels good to be back.  There was sometimes that I thought I never write again.  I just didn't have it in me. I was in a very bad place.  Even after re-debuting "Tell'em Why You Mad Monday" which is available to view on YouTube by clicking here.  (I never miss an opportunity for a shameless plug!) But I'm dealing with everything.  I debated about if I would go into details about it but I think I am going to hold off and collect my thoughts about it first.






Now I was set to bring Damn University (a relax wear line of clothes and accessories inspired from my thoughts and ideas) out of retirement for a t-shirt released in October with the proceeds going to ADAA (Anxiety Disorders Association of America) but I have been a little delayed.  But stay tuned more details to come.  











Shout Out time! This issue's shout out is difficult.  So many people have been there for me over the last couple of weeks.  I truly realized how blessed I am to have a support group that comes through for me in the clutch.  But I had to pick the one that had to li-ter-ally turn their life inside out for me. This issue's Shout Out goes out to Kimberly Godard.  Words can't express how much I appreciate everything you did for me.  Thank you!

To a certain extent, I have been pretty open about my personal issues I have been dealing with for the past few months.  It’s been mental and emotional hell to put it mildly.  So of course after doing some soul searching, talking to people, reading, and listening to some motivational speeches; I have ascertained the number one reason why people go through depression.

Feeling of loneness? No.

Low self-esteem? Nope.

No sense of accomplishment? Not even close.

Enduring that period of time between the season finale of Game of Thrones and the season premiere of Scandal? Well…that’s a close second.

The number one reason is giving more than you give.  Do you know how many people pleasers have deep, overwhelming, debilitating depression? Uh…I mean I don’t have actual numbers in front of me but a lot…a hell of a lot.  Trust me.  Who would know better than the reigning, defending, undisputed King of the People Pleasers…moi?  Some of your more self-absorbed readers are asking yourself how could you get depressed from that? Don’t you know how to say no? Well…no not really to answer your question.  Maybe you can’t fathom not wanting to make the people you love so happy that you sacrifice yourself to the point of you have no earthly clue on what makes you happy but I can relate completely.  So what do you do to fix this? What do you do to ensure you don’t go to an insane asylum?

Stop giving so much.  I know.  Easily said than done.  But if you are one of us people pleasers think for a second…does anyone you love in your immediate circle give more than you and take less than you? (If that answer is yes, don’t let that friend go and have them read this newsletter because they are in the same boat as us.)

The answer is probably no and because it’s no, I’m left feeling these feelings:

• Hurt (because you feel like you’re not as loved by the people that care about you)
• Unappreciated (because people don’t do as much for you as you do for them)
• Distrusting (because if people are not matching what you give, they must be trying to take advantage of you)
• Unconfident (because if you can’t get the people that supposedly love you to give as much of you, what good are you)

And this pretty much goes on from there.  This is why so many are depressed.  Now don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to think about changing and even harder to change.  Hell, I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach as I type this.  But you have to love yourself more. 

If someone isn't giving you the trust, communication, love, respect, and kindness you are giving…DO NOT GIVE IT TO THEM.

 If people can’t meet you halfway, then THERE IS NO MEETING AT ALL.

 If you are roping off the cackles of your heart as a VIP section for people, and you’re waiting in line to get in the club in their heart…Okay, I think you get my point.   

Only give them what you’re getting and see if your life improves but…

Those are just my thoughts…right or wrong…just what I am feeling at the time!!!!